The Misleading Meaning of "I'm Busy"

Excuses are the obstacles from commitment and the ultimate weapon of feigned innocence. Imagine you just read the following: "I'm sorry I didn't see your email about the presentation that was due yesterday." Even better, you could hear somebody say "I'm too busy to come to your party."

Either way, excuses hurts a little on the receiving end; you can never be certain of their motives when first hearing people make excuses. According to the status quo, people should be honest, unless it unnecessarily harms other people. With that in mind, you should  sometimes expect people to be somewhat dishonest if they think the truth can hurt. Or, they may want to avoid the consequences, like the classic phrase "My dog ate my homework," which obviously demonstrates our propensity to hide excuses behind our lies. 

Yet, sometimes excuses are valid and need to be considered. Excuses are also necessary when unable to do a task. Consider the following example:

"Hey Matt, do you want to go on a run with me? I need a partner."

"No, I sprained my ankle. Sorry!"

Nobody should (or can) run with a sprained ankle. That's a valid excuse.
On the other hand, what if the conversation went like this:
"Hey Matt, do you want to go on a run with me? I need a partner"

"No, I have an ache in my back. It's been going on a while. Next time."

Run a mile in my friend's running shoes (figuratively speaking). Do you believe I'm too "achy" to run? You're probably not sure. Giving people the benefit of the doubt and accepting their excuses provides a temporary mental crutch to hold back our suspicion that they're lying. That suspicion will exist until you know I'm truly handicapped.

My favorite excuse is "I'm busy." What does that actually mean? Let me give you a few definitions:

• I'm going through personal issues and don't think it's a wise decision 
• I have over-scheduled my entire life and am currently paying the consequences
• I think I don't have enough time (though I do)
• I don't want to commit for whatever reason
• I may commit, but I need more time to think
• I don't like you
• I don't think I have the skills or talents needed to do that
• I hate committing to anything (i.e. I'm lazy)
• I just don't want to do it

Have some of these lines went through your head when you heard somebody say "I'm busy?" Unless it's the first two, those two simple words are misleading. The meanings undermine trust and respect. 

Here's my advice: say what you need to say! Avoid cliche excuses and give the listener a glimpse into actually what's going on. Validate yourself and your actions by your excuse. Develop respect by letting them know what is actually in the way. Don't leave your excuses open to interpretation. People may be angry at first, but they will trust you and respect you.